Why Ready Never Comes (And What to Do Instead)

Why "I'm not ready yet" keeps you stuck

You know that moment where you tell yourself you're almost there. You just need a little more time. A little more clarity. A little more confidence. Maybe one more course, one more round of thinking it through, one more sign from the universe that you won't completely embarrass yourself when you finally do the thing.

And it sounds responsible. Mature. Even self-aware. But then weeks or months go by, and somehow you're still preparing, still waiting, still telling yourself you're not quite ready yet. And eventually that quiet question creeps in: why can't I just move?

Because you are human.

You're not lazy or undisciplined or secretly afraid of success. You're human. And humans have nervous systems that are very good at one thing: keeping us safe. Especially when something feels visible, vulnerable, or irreversible. Because here's the part your brain doesn't always want to admit. Being seen is risky. Taking action means exposure. And for a lot of us, being seen has never actually felt safe.

So instead of moving, we prepare. We refine. We tell ourselves we'll act when we feel ready. But ready never really shows up, because it isn't a feeling we're waiting for. It's a decision we keep postponing.

Why the Readiness Loop Keeps You Stuck

I spent years living like this. Wanting things deeply, talking about them endlessly, but not actually doing them because I didn't feel ready yet. And every delay quietly reinforced the story that I wasn't enough as I was. That I needed to be more prepared, more polished, more certain before I was allowed to step forward.

What I didn't realize at the time was that getting ready wasn't productive. It was protective. My nervous system had learned that staying small was safer. If I didn't take action, I couldn't fail. If I didn't put myself out there, I couldn't be judged or rejected. And if I stayed in preparation mode, I could live in the comfortable loop of almost doing something without ever having to face the vulnerability of actually doing it.

The problem is, patterns only work until they don't. Eventually, the discomfort of staying stuck becomes more painful than the discomfort of moving forward. That's usually the moment something shifts. Not because you suddenly feel brave, but because waiting starts to hurt more than trying.

That's when you realize ready isn't something you wait for. It's something you decide.

What Breaking the Pattern Actually Looks Like

Breaking the readiness pattern doesn't look dramatic. It doesn't feel like a big motivational speech or a surge of confidence out of nowhere. It usually looks much quieter than that.

You notice the urge to delay and, instead of automatically obeying it, you pause. You recognize that "not ready" is really "this doesn't feel safe yet." You see that your fear isn't about the task itself, but about being seen doing it.

You also start to notice how waiting feels safer than doing. Your nervous system prefers the familiar, even when the familiar is uncomfortable. Preparation feels safer because nothing is at risk yet. But safe isn't the same as good. And comfort isn't the same as growth. Sometimes the thing that feels scariest is the exact thing that creates movement.

Change usually starts with one small decision. Not a total life overhaul. Not reinventing yourself by next week. Just one moment where you do something slightly differently than you normally would. You say the thing. You take the step. You move before you feel completely ready. And when the world doesn't end, your nervous system gets new information.

Four Ways to Interrupt the Readiness Loop

1. Name what "not ready" really means. When you catch yourself saying you're not ready, pause and ask what actually feels unsafe. Most of the time, it isn't the task itself. It's the exposure. The visibility. The fear of being seen doing it imperfectly.
2. Notice how preparation keeps you protected. Getting ready can feel productive, but often it's your nervous system choosing familiarity over risk. Seeing this clearly helps you stop mistaking delay for discernment.
3. Choose one small act of movement. You don't need a massive leap. One email sent. One boundary spoken. One step taken before you feel fully confident is often enough to interrupt the loop.
4. Let your body collect new evidence. When you act and the world doesn't fall apart, your nervous system learns something new. This is how safety expands. Through experience, not thinking.

The Real Shift

This is what my podcast, In Her Journey, The Truth About the Patterns That Shape Us and the Rise into Our Power, is really about. The subtle ways we keep ourselves small without realizing it. The stories we believe about readiness, safety, and worth. And the moments where we finally decide to stop waiting and start moving as the woman we're becoming.

Because the truth is, you don't become her by waiting until you feel like her. You become her by moving as her, even when it's uncomfortable.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do isn't to wait until you feel safe. It's to take one small step anyway and let your nervous system learn that you can survive being seen.

Ready isn't something you feel. It's something you decide.